


Three Times the Charm

by wesfan1234 (crayonbreakygal)



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-31
Updated: 2010-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crayonbreakygal/pseuds/wesfan1234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cordelia is trying to be a nice person. Or is it a demon inside of her taking over?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Women

**Author's Note:**

> This should take place early in Season Two somewhere after Untouched but before Dear Boy.

Chapter One - Women

Women, was all Angel could think at the moment. Can't live with them, can't live without them. They're argumentative, never listen, talk too much, see too much, are too much. And the reason for this tirade was one Miss Cordelia Chase. Every time he told her no, she did the opposite. Every time he asked her to do something, she'd sit there, arguing until she was blue in the face. He knew she was under a lot of stress at the moment, but so was he.

Not enough sleep, weird dreams, and on top of it, Cordy was being a brat. Not that he would tell her that, but that's what she was. He really just wanted to stick his tongue out at her one of these times and walk away.

And he wasn't the only one feeling the pain here. Wesley was probably getting the worst of all of them. He was in the office with her the most. He had never seen how surly the ex-watcher could get until Cordelia got on his nerves. Several times he thought they'd come to blows over some little remark.

Gunn just stayed out of the way most of the time. The last few days, he had made himself very scarce. Like he could tell that Cordy was going to blow any moment and didn't want to be around for the aftermath.

As he headed down the stairs from his room that evening, he could hear Cordy and Wesley arguing full force.

"I need that file," Wesley yelled at her.

"Not my fault you just happened to misplace it now is it, Mr. I-know-where-everything-is."

"If your filing system were a little more logical, no one would ever have to ask you for anything, Ms. Know-it-all."

Angel could see through the door to his office that Cordelia and Wesley were almost nose-to-nose. He'd better break the two of them up again before both regretted what they said.

"Who's calling the kettle black, Mr. Stick-up-his-ass?"

Wesley's face was turning beet red from exertion of arguing with the Queen. Angel hoped the man didn't have a coronary right in his office.

"Guys, stop right now. No more yelling."

Neither one heard him from the outer office.

"You stuck up, unruly, bi …"

Angel almost tackled Wesley before he could get the last word out of his mouth.

"That's it. I am sick and tired of this. Do the two of you hear me? Both of you go home right now. We have been at each other's throats for the past two weeks with no end in sight. This has got to stop. Now go."

Both stood with their mouths open, staring at him. Angel wanted to growl, maybe even vamp out just to make his point, but Wesley turned to pick up his coat to leave. Cordelia picked hers up, almost on the verge of tears, and dramatically walked out the door ahead of Wesley.

"Angel, I'm sorry for my behavior," Wesley told him as he exited the hotel.

"Just go. Get some rest and come in with a fresh mind tomorrow."

"Yeah." He waved goodbye to Angel. Angel sank down on the couch, breathing a sigh of relief. Something had to change quickly or they would all kill each other.

\---

Cordy couldn't believe Angel had actually yelled at them for sparring. Of course, it had gotten a little more tense the past week or so, especially after that Bethany telekinesis woman had wrecked havoc on their lives. Maybe this was just an aftereffect of all of the stress from that, she thought.

The visions weren't getting any easier to handle. The last one she had, it felt like her skull would explode into tiny, tiny pieces. That would be great if Wesley actually had to clean up the mess, but no blowing up of her head please.

Everyone was snippy with everyone. Angel yelling, Wesley calling her all sorts of names, Gunn being all avoidy. She was worried that the gang was falling apart. And she wondered how in the world she was going to keep them together. They were her only family right then.


	2. Making Lists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cordelia is trying to be a nice person. Or is it a demon inside of her taking over?

Chapter Two – Making Lists

All avoidy was right, Gunn thought to himself. He was hanging out at the local coffee shop around the corner from the office. He'd heard Angel yelling at Wesley and Cordelia, which made him turn his butt back around and leave.

Man, the two of them sure could get into some arguments. Sometimes it made his head hurt. And neither one of them would give up until Angel yelled. Which made Gunn play hardly-ever-there guy over the last couple of weeks.

Yeah, when they called him, he'd come running. But then he'd retreat to his apartment or hang out with the guys from the neighborhood. Being around the three just put him in an awful mood. At least the punching and the beheading and the stabbing put him in a better mood. Until Cordelia made some snide comment, Wesley challenged her and Angel just walked away.

Damn, what a dysfunctional group they were. It was like they were all possessed or something. Or tired of each other already. He hadn't been around the three for that long. Maybe this was how they really were.

No, he thought as he sipped his coffee and finished his pie. Something told him that it had never been this bad. Occasionally he had even wanted to put his hand over Cordy's mouth, or had wanted to shake Wesley for being so, well, Wesley. He even had wanted to kick Angel's ass a few times too. Not that Angel wouldn't have kicked his back, but it's the thought that counts.

The four of them would have to come to some kind of understanding. No more bickering, no more sleeping for twenty hours a day, no more stupid name-calling. They each had to pull their own weight at the office, so they each could keep their comments and other things to themselves.

Gunn actually had a plan of action for this one. They'd talk, they'd strategize, and then they'd lay the groundrules of their working relationships. In theory, it was a great plan. Now if just each would agree to talk civilly, then problem solved.

\---

Wesley, slammed his door, threw his coat on his couch, and stood there with his hands on his hips. Not only had Cordelia gotten into a fight with him, Angel had yelled at the two of them, then told them to go home. Like it was all his fault. Angel always took Cordelia's side.

As he paced back and forth, Wesley thought about all that had happened in the last couple of weeks. They all were under a lot of strain, what with Cordelia's visions, Gunn's addition to the group becoming final, moving into the hotel, and Angel's inability to stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a time.

"What to do, what to do. I've got it."

Wesley sat down on his couch, pulled a pad of paper and starting taking notes. He was good at making plans. The rest of the group looked to him to have a game plan whenever they had met a new challenge. This situation was no different.

He wrote on the paper, all the cons of the relationships between the four. One, Everyone is short with everyone else. Two, they depended upon each other in the extreme. Three, all of their personalities were as different as night and day. Four, they all had different sleep schedules. Five, they rarely were in the same place at the same time. Six, Cordelia spoke her mind about too many things. Seven, Gunn was never around. Eight, neither was Angel. Nine, he had resorted to calling Cordelia really repugnant, vile names when they both got riled up. Ten, No one talked to anyone else any more.

Whew, he thought. They were one messed up crew. That would be something Gunn would say. He wrote that on the paper too. Did they really know each other all that well? Did they have such diverse personalities that it would be virtually impossible to work together as a group?

Alright, pros then, he started to write on another sheet of paper. One, they did work well together, complimenting each other's skill sets. Two, they all had each other's backs. Three, they'd all been through much chaos together over the last year and survived it. Four, they did help the hopeless, or helpless, or whatever the variety of the week happened to be. Five, they were getting rid of some nasty demons and vampires almost on a daily basis because of Cordelia's visions. Six, Angel was the champion. Seven, Gunn really was a great guy. Eight, even though Cordelia got on his nerves sometimes, he really did enjoy being around her, always knowing where he stood with her. Nine, he actually had a job. Ten, they were almost like family to him.

He wondered if each of them felt this way about the others. The only way he'd find out would be to ask.

\---

The Taraski demon named Masella sat in the basement of the Hyperion Hotel and laughed. He'd played with the four beings, three human and one souled vampire for the last two weeks with relish. The four had made his life so much less boring than when he was in Rialto, working his mojo on an extended family from Russia. All they did was curse and grumble.

But the four upstairs were ripe for his pickings. He drew energy from their fights, their tears, and their insecurities. Not like the demon who had resided before in the hotel. That one fed on the humans' fears. He just did it for the fun. If drawing more energy was an aftereffect, well the more the merrier. He really didn't care whether they were scared or not. He just wanted them to be in conflict.

His sister had called him on his fetish, oh, a hundred or so years ago. He didn't care that it was a fetish. He just loved seeing them go at each other's throats.

The female is what fascinated him the most. This Cordelia, as the males called her, was stunning for a human. But not the kind of female any one of them wanted as a mate. He could understand that. She was outspoken, unruly, hell on wheels.

But what if she was everything to everyone? What if she changed for each male to be the perfect female? Oh, wouldn't that cause each of the males to stake out his territory. So much conflict, so much chaos. It would be so much fun to watch. He'd feed on the energy, laugh at their attempts of being normal. The three would try to kill each other by the time the demon was done with them. Then maybe he'd introduce himself to the lovely Cordelia Chase. Who knows? Liking a seven foot tall, greenish, brownish, blob might not be too hard after the games he'll play with her.


	3. Bad Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cordelia is trying to be a nice person. Or is it a demon inside of her taking over?

Chapter Three – Bad Coffee

The next morning Cordy sat at her desk, twirling her hair, bored stiff. No cases, all the filing done, nothing to do. Not even any visions. And no guys. I guess they all want to stay away from me, she thought. The evil, uber bitch that she had become in the past couple of weeks would probably scare off anyone.

Make coffee, she decided. That will bring Angel down and maybe Frick and Frack will decide to join them. She noticed a new brand of coffee sitting right in front of the machine. The note on it read, "For you. Try it." Not very original, but Cordy didn't care one bit.

It smelled delicious even before she opened up the bag. It smelled even more heavenly when it was brewing. By the time she had finished her first cup, she was practically moaning. This was the best coffee she had ever had. She had to have another.

\---

"Gonna share that," Gunn announced from the other side of the counter.

"This is the best stuff. Angel must love me. You have to try some." Cordy handed him a cup, which he took eagerly.

Gunn took a sip and put it down. "Damn woman, this stuff sure is bitter. How much grounds did you use?"

Cordy smiled at him. No come back. No snarky comment. "If you want, I could make another fresh pot."

Gunn shook his head. Maybe Angel's yelling had finally gotten through her thick skull. "No, that's OK. I've already had some. Where's Angel and Wes?"

"You know, I don't know. Do you want me to phone them? I could if you want."

OK, now the woman was taking the nice, nice too far, Gunn thought.

"You OK? Because you are never this nice to me in the morning." He backed up some just so he could duck if she threw something his way.

"Must be the coffee. It's such a great morning. You know what, we should polish your weapons today. Then maybe I can take you to lunch. How about it?"

Ms. I'm-so-cheap-with-her-friends wanted to buy him lunch. Either she's possessed or she's had way too much coffee. He'd keep an eye on her today, just in case.

When he heard the front door, Gunn breathed a sigh or relief. Maybe the pompous Englishman would help him decide what was up with Cordy.

"Gunn, morning," Wesley called to him.

"Hey, Wes sweetie," Cordy waved to Wesley. Wesley stopped short.

"Hello, Cordelia," he said slowly, looking around for someone or something to jump out at him.

"Want some coffee? This is the best stuff I've ever had." Cordy held up a cup to him.

"It's bitter," Gunn whispered to Wesley as he walked by.

"Excuse me? The coffee or Cordelia? She's not going to crash me over the head or something?" Wesley whispered back.

"Not sure at this point."

Wesley took his cup from Cordelia and tasted it. He grimaced, putting it down. "Not in the mood for caffeine at the moment. I've already had my tea at home. So . . . "

"It's been really quiet around here. I thought maybe this afternoon the two of us could look at the filing system. Maybe redo a few things."

Wesley cocked his head to the side, trying to figure out the puzzle that was Cordelia. "Um, if you think so," he answered, not knowing that if that was the response she wanted.

"Great, then it's a date. Now I have to help Gunn with his weapons."

Wesley raised his eyebrows and turned to look at Gunn.

"Don't even think that. Gutter, Wesley." Gunn made motions like Wes was falling into one. "The real ones."

"Oh, Oh. Right. I'll just review that research I had started yesterday before Angel sent us home."

Cordelia put her hand on his arm, stopping him from going to his desk. "I just want to apologize for that little tiff from yesterday. You were right, I was wrong. Last night, I had an epiphany. If we are going to work together so closely then I'm going to have to treat you differently."

Since it was warm that morning, Wesley had worn a regular oxford shirt and brought his jacket. He could feel her warm, slim hand through his shirt. He could also feel her thumb rubbing back and forth just slightly. It made him a bit uncomfortable and a bit warmer than he already was.

"Apology accepted. And you're right. We do have to work together very closely. And I'm sorry if I said anything untoward regarding you." At least he had come in here with a plan. She was blowing it all to shreds.

He looked over to where Gunn was standing, next to the weapons closet, eyes bugging out. Cordelia finally let go of his arm and walked over to greet Gunn.

She looked back at him and smiled. But not just any smile. He knew that smile. She had flashed that smile at him in Sunnydale when she flirted with him. She wanted something from him, was all he could conclude. And it must be either dangerous or expensive.

"Here, why don't you start and I'll be back in a moment," Wesley heard Gunn tell Cordelia. He handed her a dagger and a rag.

"Sure," she answered as she started to polish it.

Gunn rolled his eyes as he approached Wesley. "Alright, who kidnapped Cordy and put an alien in her place," Gunn whispered.

"Something's up. I can tell. She did that smile thing. Like she wants something. She must be playing us." That was the only thing Wesley could think of for the moment.

"Well, we'll just watch her today. Somethin' ain't right. I can feel it."

The two of them watched as Cordelia bent over to retrieve another weapon. Both had a spectacular view of her behind. It was almost like she did it on purpose, Wesley thought.

"Yes, I think you're right. Maybe Angel can shed some light on the situation."

"Whenever he gets his lazy, dead ass down here today."

Angel made an appearance finally after lunchtime. Cordelia and Gunn were still not back and that worried Wesley. When had the two ever gone out to lunch together? Was he just jealous?

"Morning. Or should I say afternoon. It's one thirty," Wesley grumbled to Angel.

"Sorry. I was up late. Not sleeping well."

Angel turned when he saw Gunn and Cordelia come in the front door. Both were smiling and laughing, just like best friends. She rubbed his shoulder as he walked down the stairs.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" she asked as she came up behind Gunn.

"You have some of the best jokes, Cordy," Gunn told her.

Angel just shook his head and headed for the coffee pot.

"Do you want me to make you a new pot, Angel?"

The three men turned to her with bewildered looks on their faces. She never offered to make coffee unless they were in trouble or going to die a horrible death because of some demon.

"Um, no. That's OK. It's still warm." Angel looked back and forth between the two other men. He took a sip of the still warm coffee and grimaced. "Kind of strong, isn't it?"

"I could make some more. It's new coffee. It must take less grounds." Cordelia happily picked up the almost empty pot to take it and rinse it out in the bathroom.

"OK, what's going on here guys. I sleep in late and Cordy's offering to make coffee for me. Is there another apocolypse coming or something?" Angel was prepared for the worst.

"We don't know what's going on, Angel. She's been very nice to each of us all morning. She even took Gunn out for lunch," Wesley told him.

Angel frowned at the younger, dark man. He was not jealous, no way. How come she never offered to take him out? She usually threw a take-out menu his way and told him to fork over some cash.

"Then why is she being so nice? Oh, she must want something," Angel concluded.

The two nodded their agreement.

"Well, I know this for sure. You won't believe what she did at lunch."

"What?" Angel and Wesley said at the same time.

"She sat beside me. Smiled at me the whole time. Asked me questions. Conversed with me like she was some human being or somethin'. Freaked me out. But here's the kicker."

Both men leaned in to hear what he had to say. "She touched me at least three times."

"Cordelia doesn't do that unless she wants something. She wants something. Maybe a raise. You think?" Angel asked Wesley as Cordelia came out of the bathroom with the rinsed coffee pot.

"Cleaned it all up."

"I'll make it," Gunn offered as he took the pot away from her.

"Sure. Thanks, Gunn. You're so sweet. OK, Wes, how about that filing system?"

"Uh," Wesley answered, not remembering their conversation from the morning.

"We were going to look over it. Adjust where we need it."

"You want to change the filing system, Cordelia?" Now Angel was scared. No one touched her filing system. The woman must be out of her mind.

"Yeah. I had an epiphany, OK. I can have those. I can be nice you guys. Don't look at me like that."

Each turned away from her quickly, not wanting to hurt her feelings. She had them all trained well. Wesley followed her to the filing cabinets while Gunn and Angel walked out into the lobby.

"As I told Wes this morning, it's like someone kidnapped her and replaced her with good Cordy."

"Hey, maybe she's right. We've all been a little snippy lately. Maybe this is just her way of dealing with it. Trying to bring us all together." Angel didn't believe a word he was saying. Gunn might though.

"Maybe. We'll see. Keep an eye on her though. If anything seems funny, then we'll know," Gunn said as he started to make more coffee.

"Know what?"

"Whether we have to kill her or not."


	4. Flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble is brewing. Has Cordelia really turned a corner? Or will the guys have to kill her?

Chapter Four - Flirting

"Tell me what you think," Cordelia beamed at Wesley. She was smiling again. That same flirty smile.

"About?"

"My idea for the filing system. It's good?"

Actually it was exactly what he would have done, even with the cross-referencing.

"Yes, quite. If you want me to take over."

"No." Well, that settled that. He knew she'd never let him help, much less turn over control of the new system. "I want to do it together. It'll go faster. You know how much I like working with you one-on-one."

Wesley smiled at her. Maybe she did have an epiphany. Or maybe she did want a raise. Well, he wasn't the boss. Just as long as he didn't lose any of his salary, as meager as it was.

They started working, arranging the files in logical order, not Cordelia order. She chatted about some of the things she'd read lately. Wesley realized that she knew quite a bit about world affairs.

"You want some coffee? Or some tea. It is the afternoon. I can heat up some water if you want."

Was this the new, epiphany improved Cordelia? Maybe it would be nice to have her around.

"Tea would be lovely."

Wesley kept working as Cordelia went about the business of fixing tea for him. When she handed him a steaming cup of his favorite tea. It smelled delicious. His stomach grumbled loudly in response.

"I have this new recipe I want to try out and you know, hey, just for one person is kind of boring. So I was wondering if you want to come over tonight for dinner."

Cordelia stood close to him, smiling. He could get used to this. Way too used to it. What he wouldn't do for a home-cooked meal. He was a terrible cook.

"Really? That would be great. What time?"

"How about after we finish here? It's four something and nothing is happening here tonight. Angel has disappeared again upstairs and I haven't seen Gunn in ages." Cordelia sipped her coffee, beaming at him.

"We should probably see if Gunn is hungry."

"Nope. I gave him lunch today. Now's your turn. I like my guys to have equal and undivided attention." Then she winked at him. God, where had the girl learned to flirt? He tugged at his collar a little, feeling it tighten ever so slightly.

\---

Masella laughed and laughed. These males were such suckers for their female. She had drunk enough of the elixir to mess with their heads for days. By the end of the week, the three of them would be bowing at her feet, doing her bidding. Then he'd turn the tables. Humans were so gullible.

He thought the smart, skinny one would figure out something was wrong, but he was the most gullible. He wanted her approval the most. The vampire would be harder to fool with his scheme. And if he found that Masella had been living in the basement, well, his life could get very complicated. So he'd stay out of the vampire's way.

\---

Cordelia led the way into her apartment, telling Wesley to relax. "I'm going to change. Take a seat already. Put your feet up."

Wesley tried to relax. "Hello, Dennis," he called. Always good to be in with the resident ghost, just in case something went wrong. Dennis flipped a light on and off in greeting.

When Cordelia had invited him over for dinner, Wesley couldn't believe his ears. She had only invited him over before begrudgingly. Never had she indicated that she wanted to spend dinner with him, not that they hadn't before. But work was different in his mind. This didn't seem work-related. He'd treat it as such until Cordelia told him otherwise.

He'd brought his list of pros and cons with him this morning to discuss with the group, trying to find a compromise between the four of them that could work. He just didn't want to abandon their mission because of a little bickering. They'd get through it just like any other crisis they'd handled.

But Cordelia's actions today threw him for a loop, he had to admit. She never said she was sorry, she never made coffee unless forced, and she never let anyone make any suggestions about her filing system. He still didn't know if he liked the changes she had made overnight though.

Wesley liked sparring verbally with the woman. She was witty and intelligent. And she never missed an opportunity to make a snarky comment on something he'd done. None of which she had done today. He knew she never in the past meant to hurt his feelings, but sometimes he wished she would think before talking.

"Hey, Wes, hon. What do you want to drink?" Cordelia called from the kitchen. Wesley got up from the couch to head there.

She had changed into sweats and a short top, exposing her flat, tan stomach. How she ever found the time to have a tan was beyond him. She had pulled her hair back in a loose ponytail. No matter what that girl wore, she always looked wonderful.

"I have some beers and a bottle of wine in the frig."

"I'll open the wine, if you don't mind." Cordelia handed him the corkscrew and he set to work opening the wine. She smiled at him again.

She went to work making dinner, chatting about how she learned to cook from the staff her father had employed because she was bored one weekend. From then on, she made dinner for herself.

"Cook used to supervise, but he was such a good teacher, I just picked it up. I once made dinner for Daddy and fourteen of his friends and he never knew."

"Really? Why didn't you tell him?"

"Oh, he would have had a cow. Me in the kitchen? No way, no how."

Cordelia chuckled at the memory. She moved over to where Wesley was leaning up against the counter. The kitchen was hot and steamy from the cooking. She reached behind him, grazing his arm with hers to get something.

"I need the tongs."

"Oh, here they are," Wesley told her. As he handed them to her, their hands grazed. She smiled again. He smiled again. Damn, she was good, he thought.

The dinner went off without any other touching. Wesley actually enjoyed himself immensely. This was the first real date he had in the longest time.

Oops, stop, his mind commanded. This was not a date, this was Cordelia. One of his best friends in the whole world. He would try not to think of her in that way.

After they had coffee, decaf this time since it seemed Cordelia had at least two pots at the office, Wesley officially made the decision it was time to go home.

"I should be getting home now," he said as he was standing up from the couch where the two had settled after dinner.

"I'm really glad you could come over and try that new recipe tonight. Maybe another night we can try this new Mexican dish I just learned."

Cordelia led him to the door. "Thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow." She was making those eyes at him again. Those flirty eyes she made when she wanted something.

Her hand took his and held on. "I am so glad we have had this time together, Wes. You are the sweetest man. And so cute to boot."

Wesley snorted a little at that. When he found out what she wanted, he'd never let her live it down. Not this time.

As she moved closer, Wesley couldn't believe how wonderful and fresh she smelled. He had always liked the way she smelled. But she especially smelled wonderful tonight. All fresh and innocent. Which of course was not the look she was giving him.

She placed her hand to his face and pulled his head down slightly. She kissed him on the cheek, and then let go.

"Um, thank you again." God, he'd said thank you so much to her tonight.

"Thank you for being here for me, Wes honey." Her face was an inch from his. He could feel her breath on his face. She lightly placed a kiss on his lips.

She must want a vacation. That must be it, he thought through his hazy brain. A paid vacation. That's why Wes didn't try to kiss her back.

"See you tomorrow." He backed away from her and fumbled for the door. "Sleep tight." He couldn't get out of there fast enough. No way would she think that he had been affected. Tomorrow he'd pull Angel and Gunn aside and tell them they had to confront her.

No more sweet Cordelia. He wanted his sassy, spoiled, smart-assed Cordelia back.

\---

A noise woke him from a deep sleep. The dreams were getting more real by the minute, Angel thought as he awoke with a start. He could almost feel Darla at his side. Could almost smell her, taste her.

He heard the noise again, realizing that someone was knocking at his door. He quickly put on his robe to answer it.

"Hey," he quickly said when he saw it was Cordelia. He was so glad he'd woken up enough to put on a robe. It would have been really embarrassing if he had been sleepwalking or something.

"Hey, yourself. I was knocking, like forever. You OK? I've been so worried about you lately." She felt his forehead.

"Cordelia, vampire you know."

"Well, you feel the same temperature you always do. Do vampires get sick? Like colds or the flu?"

Cordelia let herself into his room. When he saw that it was 4:20 in the morning, he knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong? Did you have a vision? I'm sorry if I didn't answer the phone."

"It's OK. I just couldn't sleep. Way too much of that good coffee, well, yesterday, since it's after four in the morning. I was just way too wired to sleep more than a few hours."

Angel walked back over to his bed and sat on the foot of it, relieved that he hadn't neglected his duty as a champion. Boy, he was tired.

She sat down beside him, which in turn made him way too uncomfortable. Bed, no clothes, Cordy, no way. But the way he'd been feeling lately, what with all the erotic dreams, what's a guy to do. But this was Cordy. He got up to pace.

"We just never talk any more Angel. Like we used to."

Like they used to what? The talking usually consisted of her telling him what to do and why to do it. They rarely had talks unless it was she doing the talking.

"Is there something on your mind, Cordelia?" He'd play it close to the vest, let her talk it out. Then things could get back to normal.

"I just wanted you to know how good a job you are doing." She got up to stand in front of him. A little to close for his comfort though.

"Well, thanks. I really appreciate that." Oh, here it comes, Angel thought. Now she'll tell me what she wants.

Cordelia put her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it up and down. "You have the weight of the world on your shoulder. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. If you need anything. Want anything. Just call."

Angel could smell her hair. It smelled of flowers, with maybe a hint of strawberry. Her breath was warm against his face. If he could pant, he would be by now.

"You should, uh, try to go get some rest, Cordelia. I'm sure I'll talk to you tomorrow some more, right?" Anything to get rid of her. He couldn't take much more of her torture.

"Yeah, if you want. See you later, honey." Cordy sashayed to the door, turning to blow him a kiss.

After she left, Angel almost collapsed on the bed. She never flirted with him. And she never called him cute pet names. Mr. Broody and the Dark Avenger, yes, but honey, no way. She must be possessed. He'd have to talk to Wesley in the morning. Maybe he had a nice exorcism spell he could perform when she wasn't looking. That would work, and they could all go back to their normal, crazy lives.

He lay back down, quickly drifting off to sleep. He hadn't even noticed the shadow in the corner, but neither had Cordelia. Darla was pissed beyond belief. That little high school cheerleader had her boy all bound up in knots. The way she literally threw herself at Angel was disgusting. She'd have to do something about the bitch if she got too close to Angel. Angel was hers, and no one messed with him.


	5. Pet Names and Really Bad Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Showdown! The guys cannot relax one bit around the "new" Cordelia.

Chapter Five – Pet Names and Really Bad Words

Gunn was whistling, yes whistling when he arrived the next morning. It had been quiet all night, he'd actually gotten a good night's sleep, and Cordelia was treating him fine. He could feel that she actually cared about him, at least just a little.

When she had suggested they go out for lunch, it had wigged him for a moment, but then he thought, "What the hell," and went in it with his eyes open. He still thought that maybe she was up to something, but at least she was being nice about it.

"Hey babe. What's cookin'?" Cordy yelled to him as he entered the lobby. Oh, and she called him some pet name, not some Mr. So-and-so-gonna-kick-your-ass name she always had in her brain. Even if she did want something, he might even give it to her if she kept acting this way toward him.

"Nothin' much. Where is everyone?"

"Not around just yet. Just me and my coffee." Gunn could see Cordy's coffee mug sitting on the counter, with her newspaper right next to it. It looked to Gunn that she'd been reading the Sports page when he walked in.

"Didn't know you liked any kind of sports, Cordy?" he told her as he approached her perch behind the front desk.

"Oh, here and there. Remember I was a cheerleader in high school. We actually had to watch some of the games." She smiled at him. She always did have a really beautiful smile. "I was just looking up the basketball scores when you walked in."

Cordy took his hand in hers to pull him close to look at the newspaper together. He could smell her scent, mixed with that bitter coffee she seemed to now like. That coffee was worse than that chain store stuff. They made it so strong, he thought sometimes that he'd need a knife to cut it. Not that Cordy could ever make a pot any better. That's why he always got his from the diner down the street.

"Charles, have I ever told you that you have the best eyes. I really like the color of them. So kind and gentle."

Ha, he thought. No one had ever called him kind and gentle. Maybe his sister Alonna had once said that, a long, long time ago, before she died. He couldn't remember anyone else ever calling him that. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Thanks," was all that came out. And, oh, she was making googly eyes at him. That's what his grandmother used to say about how his grandfather used to look at her as a young lady. He'd look at her when he would want to kiss her with googly eyes. Cordy had that same look, he just knew. It scared him down to his toes. More than vampires, more than demons, more than Angel turning.

"Thanks. So what was the score on the game last night?" Gunn changed the subject quickly.

"Not sure. I just opened the paper up." Cordelia bent over the counter to open the paper up, giving Gunn an incredible view of her breasts. Not going there, he thought, even though it was hard to tear his eyes away. I'm just a guy. A guy with a sick sense of what's right and wrong.

Cordelia took a sip of her coffee and gave him a wicked grin. "You know, Charles. We should go to a game some time. I could even wear my old cheerleader outfit afterwards if you like."

The visions in his head should not be there. Cordelia in a very short skirt and tight top. Sort of like she was wearing right at the moment. He moved ever so closer to her. She looked up at him, batting her eyelashes at him and grinning.

"Good morning everyone," Wesley called from the front door. Gunn jumped back about ten feet, banging his shin on a chair in the process. Cordelia was still grinning at him.

"Mornin', Wesley," he managed to grumble out. The man did have impeccable timing. Saving him from Cordelia. Who would have thought?

\---

"Hello Cordelia," Wesley chimed in. The woman turned her head and smiled. The same smile she had just given Gunn. This was just getting too weird.

"Hello sweetheart. Did you have a good, quiet night?"

Wesley scowled at her. The woman never said something like that. The pet names, and now asking if he had a quiet night. Good Lord, she sounded a little too much like him. Gunn's face mirroring his own surprise made him think that something was up. Cordelia was not that good of an actress. Or was she?

"I had a quiet night, thank you. Anything going on today?"

"Nothing, unfortunately. Very boring."

Both men shook their heads in agreement. Too quiet for the both of them.

"I'll just see to that thing that I had to finish. Gunn, could you accompany me into Angel's office. I want you to look that thing over for a moment." Something which Gunn never did, but Cordelia didn't seem to catch on.

"Yeah, that thing. Sure, whatever."

Gunn followed him into the office. Wesley quietly shut the door behind him.

"I . . . " Wesley started.

"We . . . " Gunn answered.

"Something . . . " Wesley tried to say.

"This is just too weird," Gunn finally finished.

"Bloody hell," Wesley cursed, rubbing his hands over his face. He usually never cursed unless absolutely necessary. This was one of those rare times.

"What do we do? Exorcism? Demon possession thing? OK, smart guy, we need to fix this ASAP." Gunn sat down on the couch, mimicking Wesley's gesture of rubbing his hands over his face.

"Yes, definitely. But what if we're wrong. What if she did have an epiphany? We'd look dreadfully foolish performing an exorcism for no particular reason." Wesley started pacing, trying to figure out a solution in his head.

"At least it would make me feel better. Listen, you talk to her some more. Maybe get her to confess what she wants. I need to get out of here for a little while. She's really starting to crawl under my skin, if you know what I mean."

After Gunn left, Wesley watched Cordelia for a few moments, then pulled down a few books from the shelf on possession. He'd like to get a head start just in case a theory presented itself.

"What are you doing, Wes hon?" Cordelia said, startling him. He slammed the book closed quickly.

"Just catching up on some of my reading while it's quiet." Wesley was sitting at Angel's desk. He hoped that the barricade would hold against her.

"That just sounds so boring. Why don't you come back to your desk and maybe we'll play Space Invaders on the computer or something." As she said that, she moved to the desk and bent over, giving him complete view of her bosom.

Wesley didn't move a muscle. The woman was trying to seduce him. Why on earth would she do that?

"I don't think that's such a great idea at the moment. Cordelia, how have you been feeling lately?" Wesley was trying so hard not to look at her chest. Instead he concentrated on her face alone.

"Not too bad, visions aside." She made her way around the desk and trapped Wesley in Angel's chair.

"No weird headaches, strange things happening. No demon attacks of any sort?"

"You are such a silly man." Cordelia took off his glasses and set them on the desk.

"Cordelia, I can't see without my glasses. Could you please give them back to me?" Wesley was afraid of moving a muscle. He just sat in the chair, trying to think of something to do to stop the inevitable.

"I don't think you need to see. Besides I'll be really close to you." Cordelia leaned over, face inches from his. Maybe if I don't breath, she'll think I'm a vampire and stop what she's doing. But if I don't breath, I'll pass out. Not very logical, he thought, but nothing was very logical in his mind at the moment.

Cordelia moved to place her lips right near his ear. He finally let go of the breath he held. "Do you think this is wise?" Dammit, he should have had Gunn stay.

"You smell like old books, tea and yummy aftershave. Do you know how much that turns me on?"

Not as much as you breathing in my ear, he thought. The woman had completely lost her marbles. When she thought he was some James Bond wannabe she was attracted to him back in Sunnydale. When she discovered that he was a bumbling fool, well, then the affections had stopped. What had changed her mind so abruptly in such a short amount of time?

"Cordelia, maybe you should . . . " She bit his ear, then kissed the bite. "Oh dear," Wesley managed to get out.

"Yes dear," Cordelia answered as her lips moved to his. This is not right, this is not right, he chanted in his mind. He was taking advantage of her. Why was he still kissing her? He tried to resist, he really did.

When she climbed into his lap, practically giving him a lap dance, his mind told him to stop her. His hands and lips had a mind of their own and told him no.

"I want you," Cordelia told him in between kisses and gropes.

"What?" he answered in between the same. His brain heard her. He tried to break contact between them, but she was just too strong.

"We have to stop," Wesley managed to get out before her lips descended once again.

"I want you now." Several of her buttons on her shirt had popped open during the exchange.

"No. This is not right." Now Wesley started to struggle. Best friendness won out over his horniness. At least, it did for the moment.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Angel growled from the doorway.

\---

"Angel, help?" Wesley chirped as Cordelia grabbed for vital parts.

"Get up, Pryce." Angel was seething mad. Here Cordelia was making out with Wesley. And he didn't know why it made him intensely jealous.

Cordelia slithered out of Wesley's lap, but not before biting his bottom lip. "You want to join too. Not usually my scene, but for the two of you, I'd do anything."

"What?" Wesley squeaked.

"Never," Angel whispered. He'd never share her with anyone else. "We need to talk Wesley." Cordelia seemed to have him spellbound as she walked over to him. She pulled his head down into a kiss that scorched his brain.

Luckily for him, it also woke him up somewhat. Her hands grabbed everywhere. His hands tried to stop her. "Cordelia, I don't think this is a good idea."

He saw Wesley coming up from behind Cordelia with rope in his hands. "We need to tie her up somehow. To stop her."

The man was daft. No one was going to tie up his Cordelia. Angel's hand shot out and decked the man. Wesley went flying across the room and crashed over his desk, into his favorite chair.

"Let's go somewhere more comfortable, Angel. Just you and me. Since he doesn't want to share. You could have shared, you know," Cordelia shot back at Wesley, who was now slumped behind Angel's desk, probably seeing stars.

Angel picked her up to take her into the next room. He was tempted to have another cup of that coffee, but now he was fully awake and able to handle the hellcat in his arms. He swept the empty cup onto the floor, placing Cordelia on the counter, climbing up with her.

"I just did not see you do that. Cordelia, get away from him. Bad Angel is back and I'm staking his ass." Gunn had come in and spoiled his fun.

"It's not his fault, Gunn. He's not evil. At least I don't think he is," Wesley yelled from the office door.

The two on the counter kept making out, oblivious to the two other men. Both hesitated, trying to figure out what to do. One strong vampire and one very hot and bothered woman did not make a good combination.

"We need to pull them apart," Wesley said as he reached the two.

"Yeah, before he gets too happy," Gunn countered.

Both charged the couple, trying to pry them apart.

"Excuse me Cordelia, while I knock these two out." Angel threw one punch, then another, hitting both and sending them sprawling. That in turn sent the happy couple to the floor, with Cordelia landing right on top of him.

"Ow, that hurt," Angel exclaimed as Cordelia kept up her kisses and gropes.

With Angel momentarily stunned, Gunn and Wesley managed to pull her off the vampire. She struggled for a bit, then stopped and smiled at the two.

"Hey Gunn," Cordelia started.

"Oh, no. Don't even think that's even possible. No getting groiny with me."

Wesley pinned her arms behind her back, until her hands started getting frisky with him. "We need rope. Hold her. There's some in the office." Wesley took off, leaving Cordelia in Gunn's hands.

"So, what's all the fuss. I just want to have a little fun. All of us could have fun, you know. Just let me go and I'll show you."

"Let her go," Angel said behind him. Gunn turned to see Angel with a very big sword in his hands. How in hell had he gotten to the weapons cabinet?

"Sure thing, Angel. Here, you can have her." Gunn thrust Cordelia into his arms and fled towards the weapons cabinet himself.

"The rope," Wesley yelled as he re-entered the lobby. "Oh bloody, fucking hell," he grumbled to himself, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"The stuffy, sexy British man can actually swear. Wonders never cease to amaze me," Cordelia pointed out to Wesley as she dangled from Angel's arm. His other arm had a very large piece of steel pointed at Gunn.

"Angel, there is something wrong with Cordelia. You need to let her go so we can help her."

"Oh, so you can have another make-out session with her in my office." Angel held her close as she kissed his jaw and neck.

"You what?" Gunn snapped back.

"It wasn't me. Something is trying to control us."

"It certainly was you, my sexy British man. You really liked it," Cordelia purred.

"Don't call me that."

"Listen. Are we gonna fight, because I'm really getting tired and I need to have my beauty sleep."

"We are living in a nightmare, man," Gunn finished.

"Put the sword down, Angel. We need to talk about this," Wesley told him as he advanced slowly towards the two intertwined people.

"Yeah, put the sword down, honey. Not much huggy, kissy with only one hand. Besides, I really do think that sexy British man would like to join us."

"She just didn't say that. I'm going to have nightmares tonight for sure."

Wesley got close enough to Angel without getting impaled. "Angel, we need to talk."

"OK. You're right," Angel concluded. "But not before some swordplay." He swung at Wesley, barely missing his ear. Wesley ducked, then rolled to the side before Angel had time to think.

Gunn advanced, trying to keep Angel occupied so Wesley could come up with a plan.

"Plan?" Gunn asked as he fought off Angel.

"Working on it," Wesley growled back. Cordelia attached herself to Wesley again and put her tongue in his ear. "Not now." He sat her down, looking for something to subdue the very strong vampire. He found a brick that had been helping prop a table up. The table fell the side with a bang, sending the coffee maker crashing to the ground.

Wesley made his way over to Angel, who luckily had his back turned fighting Gunn, to smash him over the head with the brick. Angel fell like a literal ton of bricks.

"Nightly night. Sleep tight. Man, he is going to kick our asses when he wakes up."

Wesley stalked over to Cordelia, pulling her up from her seat. "Now, what in bloody fucking hell is going on here?"

"OK, OK. Don't know. Don't care. I just need more coffee and you broke it. Beans everywhere. Help me pick them up and I'll make it worth your wile." Cordelia bent down to start picking up coffee beans that had traveled when he had pulled the brick out from underneath the table.

"That's it. We need a priest or shaman or whatever to exorcise whatever demon is possessing her." Gunn went to pull Cordelia up off the ground.

Wesley didn't know what to think. There could be any number of demons possessing or causing Cordelia to act out of character, but to affect Angel too?

"That's just gross. Stop that right now," Gunn told Cordelia.

"What now?"

Wesley saw that Cordelia was actually eating the beans.

"Mmmm," Cordelia moaned.

Wesley grabbed her arm and put his hand out. "Spit them out, now."

She complied. "You were always such a spoilsport."

"You know, I do not like being hit on the head with heavy objects, guys. That hurt."

All three turned to see Angel, in full vamp face, standing with a sword in his hands.

"Uh oh," Cordelia pointed.

"Finally, a word out of her mouth that makes sense," Gunn answered.

"Run," Wesley yelled.

Wesley grabbed Cordelia's hand, who in turn grabbed Gunn's hand. They ran for the front door, but Angel blocked their way.

"Not going outside. Not playing fair."

Wesley threw the brick he had in his other hand and ran, towing the other two behind him. He took the first door he found as he charged down the corridor.

"Basement is so not a good idea at the moment," Cordelia told him as he tripped down the stairs.

"Not a lot of options at the moment, Cordelia."

Gunn slammed the door behind him, bringing up the rear. "There another door to the street?"

"Somewhere around here, I remember seeing one," Wesley told him.

"Come out, come out wherever you are," Angel called from the top of the steps. They were far enough in from the steps that Angel couldn't see them right away.

"I found the door," Cordelia announced. "Now, who brought a weapon so we can fight that scary demon and get through it before Angel makes snacks of us."

"Hi, guys," the demon waved to them.

"What . . . "

"Bloody fu . . . " Cordelia cut him off.

"Boy, I hope that isn't going to be your expression from now on because it's wigging me out."

Angel stopped right behind them, dropping the sword to his side. "I really would like some more of that coffee right now, but you know what I'd rather do?"

The three turned to see Angel look at their necks, practically salivating.

"I'd rather kick some demon butt."

Angel pushed past them to do battle with the demon by the door. He and the demon struggled for a few moments, until Angel got the upperhand. He pinned the demon's torso down (maybe that's what it was, no one could tell) and pointed his sword at it.

"OK, now you are going to reverse whatever spell you did to Cordelia."

"And to the three of you," the demon added.

"And to the three of us right now or you'll be shishkabab in two seconds flat."

"No problem." The demon chanted for a minute or so.

Cordelia pinched both Wesley and Gunn's behinds. Both yelped like girls.

"It didn't work," Wesley pointed out to Angel.

Cordelia snickered and turned to leave. "Oh, yeah, it did. Just kidding." She grinned at them, telling the two she was just playing, not seducing.

"Let's take a walk," Angel told the demon.

"Sun," Gunn pointed out.

"In the sewers," Angel finished.

Angel took the demon by its scruff and led it away.

"Whoa. That was just too freaky. And what happened in Angel's office?"

Wesley looked at Gunn in the eye. "I have no idea." Better to leave Gunn and everyone else in the dark. He was just hoping that Cordelia didn't remember.

"It was the coffee," Cordelia stated the obvious.

"So it would seem. The spell wrecked enough havoc. The coffee was just meant for you to drink. He could control your actions much more closely. He just didn't count on Angel drinking it."

"Oh, and it was vile," Angel pointed out.

"Why did you drink it then?" Gunn asked.

"I came down. I needed a pick-me-up and I saw it sitting there. Downed the whole cup on a big gulp. I really didn't care for the taste, I just needed a jolt. I haven't been . . . "

"Sleeping well lately," the three finished his sentence.

"We should probably look into that," Wesley told him.

"I'll be OK, Wesley."

"Did I do anything to embarrass myself? I mean, what'd I do?"

Cordelia wanted to know what she did under the influence of the demon. Whew, she didn't remember, each of the men sighed.

"You were nice," Angel said.

"You made me dinner," Wesley added.

"You helped me clean the weapons," Gunn added too.

"That's not so bad. So I was nice to you guys. Like I'm not now. Give me some money Angel."

Each man turned his head to hers.

"I need to buy a new coffeemaker. The one that somehow got smashed in whatever fight that took place up here."

All three looked off like they were remembering some great dream. Cordelia was so not liking their expressions. They each looked happy. Like maybe she made them happy. But not too happy.


End file.
